The day after the 2014 Ukrainian presidential election, public-service ads appeared in the Kharkiv metro in the format “A chance came up to do something. Ukraine, we’ll make it.” For example, a young man announces: “A chance came up to build an international career in Ukraine.”
And here a girl says: “A chance came up to promote new regional leaders.”
“A chance came up to lift up your region.”
The posters mentioned above are fairly vague and don’t raise questions. But there are also some rather debatable ones. For example, a person with signs of obesity on his face tells us: “A chance came up to do business without kickbacks.”
I picture it like this. An entrepreneur walks into a fat official’s office and asks:
— So what, now we can do business? And without kickbacks?
The official, smirking and looking up from under his brows:
— My dear fellow! My dear man! What are you saying, what kickbacks? What 25%?
— I didn’t say anything about 25%, you did!
— Quiet! Quiet! No kickbacks! Come into my office, we’ll sort everything out now. So what’s your business’s turnover, you say?
What interested me most was the poster with the student: “A chance came up to pass exams, not money.”
Every one of us has been a student, and some still are students. I was lucky enough to become a teacher too. I know the subject from all sides.
Let’s break down the student’s statement. “A chance came up” means that this chance didn’t exist before. That is, before May 25, 2014, you could pass the exam session only with money, not knowledge. I see two possibilities here: a) students are so dumb that knowledge just won’t do; or b) teachers are so corrupt that you can pass the exam session only for money. But options a) and b) are false, and I know students and teachers who attest to that.
In September 2011 I already analyzed a similar swipe at higher education (see “Blgъ: A Grade for Domestic Higher Education”). This time the copywriters at the Ukraine Crisis Media Center have lost their fucking minds, daring to state something like that on big posters. These pricks haven’t done anything for higher education yet, but they’ve already shit all over it.
By the way, one exam session has already passed since then. Students, so how’s it going, did you take the chance to pass exams, not money? And did the teachers take the chance to accept exams, not banknotes? What, fucked it up again? Know why? Because a chance is a magic wand that doesn’t work in the hands of the lazy.
I’ll explain how a chance works using the graph of the function 1/x. On the y-axis is the probability of successfully taking the chance; on the x-axis is time. The longer you put off actions toward your stated goal, the lower the probability of success.
For example, every person has a chance to take up sports, but if you don’t get up from the computer right now and do some exercises, go for a run or to the pull-up bar, or do push-ups, you’ll miss that chance. I guarantee it. If you want to learn a new language, you need to open the textbook right now, immediately. If you want to do it “tomorrow,” “on Monday,” or “in the new year” (ha-ha-ha), nothing will work out for you. I guarantee it.
You have just had a chance to stop missing chances.