Yesterday I read in the news:
Voting in the metro is taking place for the first time, Viktoria Belan, press secretary of the municipal enterprise Kharkiv Metro, told MediaPort. The purpose of the event is to find out whether Kharkiv residents are satisfied with how the subway is run.
The questions were drawn up by metro employees. According to the press secretary, the enterprise set up a special commission that developed both the form and the content of the questionnaire. In the subway they thought about the format of the sheet: at first they wanted to add a “Your opinion” field. But they decided to settle on
I hurried underground, I wanted so much to read these questions.
After reading them, I felt like giving detailed answers.
1. Would you like to change the metro’s operating hours from
No, I would not. I want the metro to start running at 7:00 or even 8:00. So people don’t make it to work in the morning. Naturally, the last train should leave not at 00:10, but at 23:00 or even 22:00.
2. Would you like to reduce the interval between trains?
No, why? After all, the 12-minute interval we have now suits me just fine.
3. Would you like to improve the quality of cleaning in the metro?
No, let it be filthy as shit. Somehow that feels more familiar and cozy.
4. Would you like to improve the technical condition of the stations and passageways?
No, let the whole thing fall apart, and let a light fixture fall off the ceiling and hit me on the head.
5. Would you like to increase the number of service staff in station lobbies?
No, probably no more are needed. The metro employees who already carry napkins and ballpoint pens through the cars and play guitar are enough for me. And that employee who for something like 15 years now has been unsuccessfully trying to cure
6. Is it convenient for you to use the electronic card?
No, not at all! Leaving home half an hour earlier so I could hang around for 25 minutes in a
Most likely, there was also a seventh question here: “Would you like to pay 3 UAH for a higher-quality service?” I’m sure the most perceptive respondents figured out for themselves what this survey is leading up to. There were also no questions like: “Do you want us to kick the vendors a kilometer away from the metro passageways?”, “Do you want there to be no advertising on the walls and in the cars?”
Thank God all the entrepreneurs went to the Maidan yesterday, so the passageways were open and clean. No old books, no hunks of lard sold by weight, no brooms, no slippers.
All in all, I was surprised by such a “Captain Obvious” survey. After all, the problems with our metro are obvious and known to everyone.