Telephone marketing is when someone calls you from an unknown number and starts pushing some useless crap on you. It’s easier to swat away an annoying fly than an unwanted offer over the phone.
A couple of years ago, a woman called my work phone, introduced herself as a parishioner of the Jehovah’s Witnesses church, and suggested that we study the Bible together over the phone. Usually I got rid of uninvited guests on the phone quickly, but I couldn’t answer a religious woman sharply. We had roughly this dialogue:
— And why did you call me specifically?
— We’re calling everyone in the area to help people in need who want to study the Bible.
— But I don’t need to study the Bible.
— Maybe we should still try?
— We can certainly try, but I’m worried that somewhere out there there’s a person who really is in need, waiting for your call, and you’ll spend your time on me, and I’m not in need.
— Yes, you’re right. All the best, goodbye!
Since then I never brush off telephone marketers; instead, I try as hard as I can to help them make me an offer I can’t refuse.
But for some reason the marketers themselves don’t want to help me.
They call from a bank and offer to issue a new card with special terms from the bank’s partners. And I say that yes, I’m interested, but I already have five cards and ask them to apply the special terms to an existing one. The bank says it can’t. Says it will check with the central branch and call back. And doesn’t call back.
They call from another bank and offer magical service terms. I ask them to forward me the terms by email so I can look them over. They didn’t forward anything.
They call from a marketing agency and offer to promote my offline business (which I don’t have). I ask them to promote my mobile apps in the App Store. The agency can’t; they don’t have that kind of experience.
They call from an internet provider and offer their services. I’m interested, but I’m in a meeting, busy, and ask them to call back after 6:00 p.m. Mu-ha-ha, what kind of idiot would work after 6:00 p.m. The internet provider didn’t call back.
Every time someone calls me, I ask them either to call back or write me an email or give me some substantial discount. For some reason, they all disappear very quickly after that.
And here, for dessert, is an interesting compilation of salespeople brushing off customers: